yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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