sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize