Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Randomize
