I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
