Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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