After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
