Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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