You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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