please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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