Its about making memories worth repressing
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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