They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
