he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The ass gains better be worth it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
