Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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