He is an equal opportunity slut.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
