Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
