you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
