Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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