When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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