I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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