remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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