Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
