put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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