I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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