i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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