So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
