My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
