We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize