I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize