Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
