halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
