I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
