I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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