wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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