ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't turn off my feet"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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