Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4799) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2245) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate having morals and standards the next morning.

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  (732): I hate having morals and standards the next morning. http://tfl.nu/3tqs
  Replies (9) Good night (2800) Bad night (1122)
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  (760): View more from California

  I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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  (760): I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night http://tfl.nu/kc6c
  Replies (14) Good night (4076) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that

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  (734): I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that http://tfl.nu/jwk4
  Replies (12) Good night (3770) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5679) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?

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  (603): Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right? http://tfl.nu/7voc
  Replies (31) Good night (3897) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  and now there are teeth marks on my dick.

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  (407): and now there are teeth marks on my dick. http://tfl.nu/97y3
  Replies (17) Good night (1327) Bad night (5682)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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  (309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq
  Replies (6) Good night (1952) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..

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  (716): She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/0ox8
  Replies (4) Good night (2241) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused

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  (909): I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused http://tfl.nu/1156
  Replies (13) Good night (2032) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something

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  (203): wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something http://tfl.nu/kee0
  Replies (4) Good night (974) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.

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  (305): We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened. http://tfl.nu/a50c
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls

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  (+44): My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls http://tfl.nu/6im1
  Replies (3) Good night (346) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.

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  (702): I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics. http://tfl.nu/p59u
  Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (506)

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