So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize