Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dating After Heartbreak
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.