Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.

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  (252): He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/eaqz
  Replies (58) Good night (2140) Bad night (6043) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.

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  (720): You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive. http://tfl.nu/qvhh
  Replies (94) Good night (7824) Bad night (1524) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3337) Bad night (2071)
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  (310): View more from California

  I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too

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  (310): I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too http://tfl.nu/t8cv
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

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  (816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u
  Replies (2) Good night (2380) Bad night (632) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?

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  (618): was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven? http://tfl.nu/9wj5
  Replies (10) Good night (3032) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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  (501): And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool" http://tfl.nu/agbu
  Replies (4) Good night (2068) Bad night (468) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this

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  (480): Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this http://tfl.nu/d987
  Replies (6) Good night (1214) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!

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  (770): She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?! http://tfl.nu/j94r
  Replies (18) Good night (423) Bad night (1894) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"

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  (831): She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock" http://tfl.nu/hp1z
  Replies (26) Good night (4634) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?

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  (254): when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger? http://tfl.nu/g708
  Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (394)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.

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  (585): It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate. http://tfl.nu/p0j4
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life

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  (330): I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life http://tfl.nu/2qsb
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.

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  (256): I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan. http://tfl.nu/no44
  Replies (8) Good night (784) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

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  (317): I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened? http://tfl.nu/0nes
  Replies (2) Good night (137) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt

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