id be glad to
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
