Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?