Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job

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  (616): hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job http://tfl.nu/32u0
  Replies (16) Good night (1200) Bad night (3092)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world

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  (914): I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world http://tfl.nu/9m7n
  Replies (40) Good night (5812) Bad night (1571)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.

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  (315): Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now. http://tfl.nu/rvu6
  Replies (10) Good night (4182) Bad night (1028)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

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  (702): whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want http://tfl.nu/m1hp
  Replies (39) Good night (7149) Bad night (1519)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.

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  (651): i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college. http://tfl.nu/te2e
  Replies (15) Good night (7632) Bad night (1063)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Does that work!! Please say yes

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  (702): Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons (702): Does that work!! Please say yes http://tfl.nu/ujrg
  Replies (24) Good night (815) Bad night (2162)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.

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  (678): Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch. http://tfl.nu/rrk7
  Replies (7) Good night (2958) Bad night (545)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.

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  (303): I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g3e8
  Replies (4) Good night (1115) Bad night (486)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.

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  (313): I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to. http://tfl.nu/ozzk
  Replies (8) Good night (530) Bad night (992)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.

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  (508): I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night. http://tfl.nu/9irj
  Replies (9) Good night (1162) Bad night (377)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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  (817): I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday. http://tfl.nu/g52l
  Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (934)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!

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  (719): I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!! http://tfl.nu/z9re
  Replies (4) Good night (748) Bad night (381)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich

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  (802): I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich http://tfl.nu/ehbw
  Replies (6) Good night (910) Bad night (370)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.

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  (508): Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming. http://tfl.nu/osws
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (222)
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  (310): View more from California

  Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.

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  (310): Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed. http://tfl.nu/wzcc
  Replies (2) Good night (317) Bad night (479)

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