You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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