Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize