writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
