Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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