ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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