If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize