You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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