He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize