I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
