I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize