I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
