Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I can text with my tongue
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
