i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
