My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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