Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Randomize