Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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