i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
