you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card