I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore