may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground