Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.