shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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