Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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