it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
