I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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