we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
